Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
