We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize