I'm lost and stupid without you.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
