Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just found puke in my bra..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
