Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
