i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nicole vs. Life
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
