We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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