I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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