I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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