hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
