Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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