I think i peed on brittanys purse
he shaved USA in his pubs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize