Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is Oprah even human
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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