The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
