think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
