you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
