Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
as a side note pls kill me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
