conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I want her autograph on my taint
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You did what with his pubic hair?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
