He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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