Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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