Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
