i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
