I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
