those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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