I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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