Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
