Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
