how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
