No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
