I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think your dad took our porno
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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