She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
