What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
