Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
