Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How's work?
Spinning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
