But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
