no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
