If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
