now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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