Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
handjob tips. give me some.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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