Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Operation Purity has been aborted
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
