he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
