idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i need some magic done to my vagina
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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