So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
