he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
