I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
