Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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