found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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