so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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