____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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