So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
