I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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