i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
