I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
