I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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