Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
