4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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