Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
