my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish you could order shots online.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
